BABY MAMA

I have to vent/bitch so sorry if post is longer than usual!

So I don't have any kids and this will be my first. In reality I think i could be cool being childless. I am 31 and i think i got scared because i was getting old so i decided this is the right time to bear a child, just one that is all.

So i really am not a child person, i wont abuse kids but i am not the one that just decides to go to the playground and interact with kids.

My husband to be has 2 kids from 2 different women. Now i am a cool person don't care about the past relationships but i do have to say if i interact with your kids we should at least speak. i mean i cant see me dropping my kids off to some strange women that i don't know. but one doesn't feel that way and refuses to speak to me. and by the way she is older than me. go figure.

Now one child resides with us and I take and pick up from school, go to sport practices with, go to parent and teacher conferences with, etc. I speak to his mother on the phone, we are cordial and i thought she was cool. Now in everything he does i say did you ask your mother to come see you play your game etc. etc. or did you call your mother today, etc.etc. now if he chooses not to what should i do. i even tell him not to call me momma cause I'm not and that he already has one.

me and his mother even had a conversation about it takes a village to raise a child, so i thought we were on the same page.

So she has him for the weekend and was going to take him to his practice. she calls my h2b (hubby 2 b) and asks him "why does the coach thinks Msflygirl is his mother instead of me."

What? first off i don't want your son at all........ second maybe if you take him to the game or practice or just be there and introduce yourself as such there would not be any confusions. i repeat i don't ever introduce myself as this childs mother. i might say STEP mother but usually i say my name.

I AM PISSED OFF. i feel like now i don't even want to be cool or cordial it makes me feel like she wants some type of drama. she is way older than me.

h2b and my friend stated that she maybe feeling guilty because she is not there. but don't take that shit out on me.

What do you guys think, mothers, non mothers, and men. how do i play this? it makes me standoffish from even having a relationship with the child. i think he told her that to manipulate her to feel guilty and be there more. but the boy is going to get an earful because all that does is bring drama.

And should i call and get the baby mama together.

H2B told her not to call him with the BS she knows who she is to him. i feel that but he thinks i am overreacting.

They done lost there mind

This was posted on the New York Times!!!!!!!!! What the fuck, he is the President of the United States. We don't just sit here and take this shit. Time for a change remember. Shut it down bend it backwards.

Fire this motherfucker for disrespecting black Americans. When is enough enough. We are not punk bitches.

Lets plan a conspiracy. what would Malcolm X, the black panthers, or our ancestors in the sixties handle this.

What is so funny so many trigger happy as people taking lives for no apparent reason but we cant get at a bigoted Ass Prick who really needs to be taught a lesson. What THE FUCK!!

Black Woman Doomed ?

So I was listening to the Michael Baisden show ( i love him even though he is chauvinistic) and he said 41% of black woman will never be married opposed to only 21% of white woman.

So I want to know Y. now i of course have my point of view because i am a feminist. (proudly) but I wanted a man's point of view. So my hubby 2 b (which is chauvinistic) gave me his point of view.

He said that woman want to control everything and act like men. and that most woman don't want to be married and that people say the institution of marriage is what we need to do but that it doesn't work for everyone.

So i am thinking then even if this is true why is the percentages so unbalanced. black woman don't want to be married but white woman do?

I don't know and I feel like yes some woman don't know how to release control because we are forced to do it. isn't that what we have to do when we cant rely on your mate to come through on there end of the deal.

Funny thing about me is that i was in a previous relationship with a man were i controlled everything and absolutely hated it. so then i moved by myself and did everything myself by myself. but now i chose to be with a man that runs everything i just wake up and go he controls the finances and all the major decisions.

Is there something wrong with that? i mean trust and believe people i always have a second plan and a secret savings. but is it something wrong for me to want him to control everything?

What do you guys think?

More Randomness

I wanted to change the look of the page. I love black but it was kinda to dark for how i have been feeling lately. though i wear black like everyday.

My wedding size has grown to 80 people and will accommodate at least 100 people. colors are now silver and black. we bought a lot of stuff yesterday and surprisingly he was so into it. i guess i can post some pics of some stuff but will you really care?

This is my wedding invitations but with silver writing this is what we wrote on it. give me your honest opinions.

Prelude to a love story

Boy meets Girl,

Boy ask Girl to marry him.

Girl says ?

Join us for the rest of the story on

May 16, 2009, etc,etc etc.

Is it tacky? we thought it was cute now i am unsure. its too late now anyway its already ordered.

No one knows this detail. Our wedding is a big ol' cocktail party.

We have a prewedding party at 5 p.m., appetizers, open bar, DJ then we get married at approximately 6:30 during sunset. Then i have a candle lit path that takes you to the reception around 7:30pm were we have a different party set up with food, DJ and another open bar set up.

I think its hot, non traditional, like i like it!

Random

So everyone on television is pregnant but not anyone close to me, such bullshit. I mean can i have a friend thats pregnant so we can do silly things together like the zoo, science center, magic house, disney cruises with the kids, we get drunk while the kids play together (LOL).

And fuck all you who roll your eyes and think i am a bad mother cause i drink martinis everyday i say and do shit you wish you had the ovaries for (LMAO)!!!

Now back to what I was saying,

My cuzz is also getting married and i am so excited, but you know its like we really are at that age. responsibility, family, job, role model type b.s.

So people ( I usually say ladies but men can benefit from this too and there are some that do read my blog) remember what type of person you said you would be, and strive to become it.

What type of woman am I:
Sexy, confident, cute shoes, rocking hair cut, positive, god fearing, god loving, traveler, food connoisseur, trustworthy, good friend, monogamous, common sense, intelligent, reader, movie goer, live life with no regrets, type black woman.

Take in mind these things can change and thats the best thing of it all. Post what type of person you are on your blog or on my comments. inspire me to add something i forgot.

Eye Makeup

So you know I am going through different blog spots and im loving all the woman with the talent of eye makeup, and I am jealous I want to do it to!

I mean all I know is to swipe a little color over my lids shit these woman are damn sexy wit it. Make me sexy too. Is there a class I missed.

I wanted to take some pictures from different blog spots but I they may get mad so here are other examples

He Called Me

Today bloggers at 8:00 A.M. this morning God touched me, I was listening to the gospel radio grooving to Second Chance by Hezekiah Walker and then Thank You by Yolanda Adams came onto the radio. It was so comforting and the words were so truthful and I was relating to the music. Then my God laid into my spirit that I have been gone too long.

And it is the truth. I haven’t been to church for at least 8 months and it affects who you are. There wasn’t anything that prevented me from going to church, I guess life just happens and you get caught up with excuses on why today you shouldn’t go and then you pacify yourself with, I will read the bible and it will be okay, but its not. You need this word every week to cleanse you to put your purpose of life into perspective to prepare you for the upcoming week.

Dear Lord,

I got off, I became selfish and worried about caring for myself rather than trusting you to care for me. I need you Lord to prepare me for my assignment of encouraging and uplifting your people. Forgive me for not setting the example that you required me to lead. I love you, prepare me to return to you Father God, remove the embarrassment and pride from me for not being seen at church for that is glorifying me through your people and not you.

Love you wonderful Father, Amen

Valentines Day

So today is Valentines Day, and I decided that I am not going to celebrate Valentines Day for me but rather than for my Hubby 2 Be. I have been so hard on him, financially and emotionally and so I want to show him how much I care. So I purchased him a small masculine (LOL) bouquet of flowers and cooked a wonderful meal. Ahi Tuna, Lobster tails, potatoes, corn, and roasted carrots. We ended with chocolate covered strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries. It was wonderful!

Can You Believe This Sh#t !!!!!

So if you don't know by reading my post I am the fucking Police (go ahead make your jokes, roll your eyes, yes i am the fucking pig!) anyway my brother gets locked up today in my area for Burglary, then this asshole drops my name.

Now the issue I have is if you do some ill dumb ass shit own up to it and take it like a man. But this city is so fucking big why in the fuck would you go in my area to do some shit and then drop my name. If I was at work I would have whooped that ass.

It is hard enough for me to work with my co workers (white, male) but now I am going to have to go to work and get interrogated by they ass. You know justify your family shit that i don't want to or feel like i have to.

I AM PISSED OFF!!!!!

I have a brother already incarcerated and it looks like they going to give him 20 years and it hurts me sooo bad. But this idiot looks like he wants to follow his footsteps. Especially on some whack thievery shit. TACKY.

I'm scared to have a boy, ladies, it seems like the woman lately have really stepped up to the plate and progressed but what can we do to help out our men?

Love Ya

Back Down Memory Lane

Hey fellow Bloggers,

Has something ever triggered a memory for you and places you back in a situation I guess either negative or positive.

Well the weather does that for me. It has reached 68 degrees in St. Louis , yesterday, and I absolutely loved it. It reminded me of spring time. Running track, riding in my pink escort (LOL my first car) with my girls listening to my portable CD player rocking Mary J Blige, Biggie, or Total. Just being young and youthful with no real problems.

It put a little pep in my step, and it was all in all a good day. I even felt my baby move for the first time yesterday. YAY.

Today it down poured which is cool because it makes me feel so human not being able to control the weather. Only God can which is awesome.

So lovely people today lets embrace the fun times of our youth. Laugh at the clothes, hairstyles, bad choices in love and life. It makes you, you.

Luv Ya

Things that make you say hmmm.

So I was laying down next to my boyfriend admiring my baby. you know how we do, oh his swagger is so sexy, he so fine to me, the sex be the best etc. etc. I then started to think about his flaws and all the things I over look when dealing with him.

So ladies I thought about my past relationships where at the time of happiness we look at all the positives and forget or rather deny the negatives. After the relationship passes we say that nigga wasn't shit anyway blah blah blah and we cant believe we were into him that long.

So are we the reasons that these men are so fucked up now. you know u meet a man in a club or the street and you think you cool, but who souped your head up! you not all of that.

• i mean you got a nice car but your furniture is cheap as hell.
• you dress nice but you cant even complete a sentence.
• your money cool but nigga i seen and had more.
• thanks for the drink but this is a special tonight i could of got this myself, you didn't do me a favor.

So maybe we need to tell these niggas the truth when it comes to there negatives. think about it they are quick to point out our bullshit. we always trying to protect there feelings.

When he gets home I am going to point out some shit just to keep him in his place. I suggest we ladies all do the same.

Keep it Pimpin Queens

Pregnancy Woes

So im so nauseated unbelievably nauseated and so i ate some Miso soup and a little dry cereal. Big mistake. I threw that up everywhere. Than i began strange dry heaving over and over. it was gross. my lower stomach started cramping. then you know what happened next. called my hubby to be and cried miserably for at least 5 minutes while he is at work.

He attempted to calm me down but that didn't work. i acted like it did for his sake just so he can make his money.

Now I'm sitting depressed because 17 weeks preggers it just has to get better right?

My lil sister is going to bring me some Mexican pizza from taco hell and a soda i am excited to eat and to see her. as you know from my previous posts I'm in love with my sister.

please someone take my pain from me.

Dear Lord:

i know you will never put more on me than i can bear, but this is really hard for me and i need you to take this pain and discomfort from me. Or at least let me go through this like a woman and not like a lil' sissy!

amen.

I NEED HELP

So okay I am not the cleanest person at all. But he is like anal clean. i love that about him. but cant he get off my back about it. Now i am not saying im trifeling but i am messy . we need a housekeeper. i said i would pay for it.

I am not fronting like we are someone that we are not but i am saying it is a service that we need cause i dont like doing it.

Furthermore he knew this before we moved in together.

Especially since im pregnant I DONT WANT TO DO NOTHING LEAVE ME ALONE.

reading my other posts you see i am having mood swings.

People tell me what to do. and be honest. do i need to put my big girl panties on and clean or curse his ass out? HELP PLEASE

FLY GIRl

This is the verse that inspired me to call myself FlyGirl from Jay-Z "I know what girls like"

Theywant a cutie with a booty like POW!

Deeper than a MILE!

Earrings shine like TADOW!

But I'm a real bitch so you know I do real thingsOnly real bitches live like queens - Get it?

Safety deposit in the walk-in closets

Marbel Faucets with the matching Rolls Royce's

In the driveway from Monday to Friday

I be the richest, s**tting on these bitches

While chickens cluck giving up the butt

I plays the cut with the Daddy Warbucks

You can call me a slut, who gives a f**k

That's fine n***a s**t, I'm a good with mine

I can tell by your shoes you know what I want

f**k a pre-nup give me half up front

My sex be the best so we split these costs

You can stop saying mine And start saying ours

Im a fllllly Girl.

And eventhough you cant really like listen to and take lessons fromlil kim. This was the shit and i was and still feeling.

20 Things About Myself

So on random pages have posted these 25 facts about yourself originating from facebook. Facebook? dont really know what that is or really care to. But reading about other people is hilarious so read on about me LMAO! i only did 20 things shit i dont want to tell you everything!


1. My daddy is a whore (sorry mom if you are reading) and he really fucked me up on relationship.Really fucked me up.

2. So relative to #1. I have a tremendous fear of commitment, like terrible anxiety. My bestfried will have to drag me down the aisle especially since i cant pop a Xanax or drink vodka since Im pregnant.

3. I am always in control but i hate it so therefore i drink almost everyday so i can have an excuse to be out of control. (b4 preggers status).


4. i still crave alcohal really bad I think im an alcoholic but i am okay with it really.


5. in reality i am a weed head but i cant because of my proffession. when i retire i will probably be high everyday all the time. Joints not blunts. Eww. Good weed you only need a little.







6. i really do think im gorgeous some people think i am a bitch, but really u guys im fucking sexy ass hell but i think beauty is overated. as i get older i realized that shit means nothing at all.

7. I called my self "flygirl" and this stupid shit it tattood on my body from a rap song from lil' kim and jay z "I know what girls like." ill post the verse that got me.


8. I am a manipulative, freak nasty, bitch. I have learned to train and repress these things but really that is what i am and i know it. I dont really give a fuck only about my self as of now.


9. eventhough it is about me all the time. i am not a hater, i mean i love everyone and think that everyone is the shit.

10. i am slightly racist i mean i love everyone but i dont believe in race mixing.

11. i am extremely messy. not like roach infested just have a lot of shit and i dont believe i have to pick it up. i believe i should have a house keeper.

12. i wish i was beyonce or kimora lee simmons.

13. i wanted to pose for playboy.

14. i want fake boobs.

15. my stomach is not flat and eventhough i want lipo suction. again i really dont give a fuck and if my boyfriend wouldnt bitch. i would put a bikini on sit on the beach and drink my fucking margaritas.

16. i am obsessed with my lil sister absolutely in love with her.

17. i have a perfection complex. not that i want to be perfect i just want you to think i am.

18. i am saved, it was a supernatural experience, really changed my life, but i think religion and its rules are man made. But i did have a prayer session and i had some demons removed from me. this shit is real people. i use to be a witch!

19. i am so freaking over the top on everything. i am so fucking gaudy and i love it.

20. I use to want to strip LMAO! had a routine and everything. dont know why. okay yes i do. lets be honest i believe men or such small minded individuals that are so beneath a woman it is ridiculous. and when i was a young girl i knew they were easy to be manipulated. now that i am older i just know you can do it with your words and mind.

It's Friday Baby

Well yesterday I was extremely bitchy like my theme saying was "Who wants some!" So today I am calm and collected and happy that it is the weekend baby!

I visited the doctor and now am 16 weeks and 3 days pregnant. So I guess i am suppose to place the pictures of my growing stomach for all to see and become so amazed that I am spawning a parasite. LMAO. no really its fucking weird.

So I am still not gaining weight but trust the baby head is. So are my lips. which is kinda sexy!

So I want a girl but the doctor could not tell. he saw a disappearing penis, at first it was there and now its not. So I have to wait until next month to determine the baby sex and then go on a major baby shopping spree.

Can men have pregnancy hormone problems because mine is sure acting like he is freaking pregnant and that is not freaking cute at all. Sometimes I can imagine just smacking the shit out of him. That just makes my day.