Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Black Woman Doomed ?


So I was listening to the Michael Baisden show ( i love him even though he is chauvinistic) and he said 41% of black woman will never be married opposed to only 21% of white woman.


So I want to know Y. now i of course have my point of view because i am a feminist. (proudly) but I wanted a man's point of view. So my hubby 2 b (which is chauvinistic) gave me his point of view.


He said that woman want to control everything and act like men. and that most woman don't want to be married and that people say the institution of marriage is what we need to do but that it doesn't work for everyone.


So i am thinking then even if this is true why is the percentages so unbalanced. black woman don't want to be married but white woman do?


I don't know and I feel like yes some woman don't know how to release control because we are forced to do it. isn't that what we have to do when we cant rely on your mate to come through on there end of the deal.


Funny thing about me is that i was in a previous relationship with a man were i controlled everything and absolutely hated it. so then i moved by myself and did everything myself by myself. but now i chose to be with a man that runs everything i just wake up and go he controls the finances and all the major decisions.


Is there something wrong with that? i mean trust and believe people i always have a second plan and a secret savings. but is it something wrong for me to want him to control everything?


What do you guys think?

10 comments:

Angel said...

Girl…you are hitting on a big subject there...

I think that "Some" black women have been trained to do everything and be everything therefore some of them don’t wanna let go of that. Those ones are hard to marry. Afterall what man wants to be with superwoman, the man wants to feel like the man.

But I also think that many men have grown up being told that its great to have lots of women and don’t settle down. So that type of man doesn’t wanna get married, there are still 40 year olds running up and down so if 40 year old black men don’t want a wife then what should the women do?

Also Marriage is sometimes painted in such a horrible light that it puts people off. People talk about it being a ball and chain and say how the sex life goes away etc etc..

I myself hope I am blessed enough to get married.

djmadmike said...

here is the deal...trust.. now lets say god forbids u get divorced and he handled all the finances, what happens next? for all intents and purposes i dont blame the average sister who might not of a seen a dominating father on the home front. my mother is the strongest person i know and i wish my wife was the same...but im learning through trial and error how to be the force and rock of my home.

single women are on the rise,lesbians are on the rise,single mothers by choice is on the rise as well...maybe finding a trusting man of any race or color is hard to do
www.blackfitnessblog.com

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

Baidsen is an idiot, who would even listen to him?

Jami B. said...

I can so agree with you. The man I dated for 4 years before I met my now husband allowed me to control everything. I controlled my house and his business even though he was hundreds of miles away.

I loved giving up some control of some things when I got married. Now you better believe I know how to do everything my husband knows how to do but I've just chosen not to handle certain things and I love it being this way.

Oh and yeah you gotta have those extra accountS...have more than one

Kenya Says said...

Yes yes! I did NOT like the relationships where i controlled everything- I want the man to be the man...theres nothing wrong with it...

Kenya Says said...

I do listen to Michael B- sometimes he does get on my nerves but sometimes I agree with him...

JOFre$h said...

Woman of today are very demanding....

UBRINGMEJOI said...

i think woman are demanding and i also think that the percentages are a lil off b/c men want to feel needed and wanted. sometimes we are so independent that we can't get over ourselves and just let them be them.

why more the chair when he is right there and he should do it. i mean yeah i know i'm strong enough to but he's a man and he should. i can open the door but i let him....

i don't know just my opinion

The Intellectual Diva said...

Have you ever read the "Willie Lynch Letter?" I read a few years ago in college, and it has changed the way I see Black Male/Female relationships. The "Willie Lynch Letter" is a small pamphlet written during slavery by a slave master. The slave master is basically providing an instructional to other slave masters on how to control their slaves. This cycle was supposed to mentality enslave black people from generation to generation.

Black women and white women have a completely different history. White women fought to work outside the home and have occupations that were the same as white men. Black women have always done the same work as black men. For centuries there was no separation. Through our history, most black women couldn't even raise their children becuase they had to get up and work. I think this has had a strong effect on black womanhood, and could be a big reason why many black women remain unmarried.

Black girl with long hair said...

ok, this is kind of off topic... but man, when i hear stats like this. i dunno. all of my BLACK girlfriends are already married or are getting married. i only have one that's been single for a long time.
plus, a lot of the married ones went the interracial route.
i think black women marrying non-black men is on the rise. i'd love to see some revised stats reflecting that.
funny thing, though, the 40% never married stat made me go BALLISTIC in college, lol! i became a one woman civil rights movement.
real life has shown me otherwise, though... could just be the kinds of chick i kick it with...